Thriving not just Surviving Motherhood

How to Thrive in Motherhood Instead of Just Surviving

Motherhood is one of the most transformative experiences a woman can go through. It’s filled with moments of pure joy and deep love, but it also comes with its fair share of challenges. In a world that often glorifies the "perfect mom," it’s easy to feel like you're just barely keeping your head above water. But what if I told you that motherhood doesn’t have to feel like a constant battle for survival?

It’s possible to thrive, not just survive. And it starts with prioritizing yourself—because you can’t pour from an empty cup (or cold brew)

Looking for support? I’d love to connect! My therapy services are specialized for pregnant, postpartum moms and moms raising young children. Therapy for Pregnancy, therapy for Postpartum depression, therapy for postpartum anxiety, therapy for perinatal mood disorders. I also use parts work and internal family systems to support moms in therapy. I provide all therapy services virtually throughout California. Perinatal Mental Health Therapy for Moms in California. I look forward to connecting with you!

1. Acknowledge That Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

Moms often feel like they have to be everything to everyone: caregiver, homemaker, and superhero. But what happens when you’re running on empty? You can’t care for others when you’re not caring for yourself. Self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. This doesn’t always mean a spa day (though, yes, that’s great too!), but it could be setting aside time to read a book, take a walk, or simply enjoy a quiet cup of coffee.

When you prioritize your well-being, you're teaching your kids that it's okay to take care of yourself. You're setting a powerful example for them that self-care is not only okay, but essential.

2. Give Yourself Permission to Feel Your Feelings

It’s okay to not have everything figured out, especially in the early stages of motherhood. If you're struggling with postpartum depression, anxiety, or the emotional rollercoaster of raising young kids, know that you're not alone. It’s important to acknowledge your feelings instead of burying them under the weight of “shoulds.”

You are allowed to feel frustrated, exhausted, and overwhelmed. These emotions don’t make you a bad mom—they make you human. The key is finding support and working through these emotions rather than letting them consume you.

3. Create Your Own Version of "Balance"

Balance looks different for every mom. Society may paint a picture of an ideal mother who does it all—without breaking a sweat. The reality? Balance is about finding what works for you and your family. For some, it’s carving out time for work and hobbies. For others, it’s setting aside moments in the day to reconnect with their partner or take a breather from the chaos.

Don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s. Instead, focus on what you need to feel grounded. This might involve saying no to some things in order to make room for what really matters—your peace of mind.

4. Set Healthy Boundaries

Setting boundaries is crucial for maintaining your mental and emotional health. As a mom, it’s easy to feel like you have to please everyone, whether it's family, friends, or colleagues. But when you say yes to everything, you end up saying no to yourself.

Boundaries can be as simple as carving out time in your day to relax or turning down invitations that don’t align with your values. It might be telling family members that you need a break or asking for help when things get overwhelming. When you set boundaries, you're teaching your family that your needs matter too.

5. Surround Yourself with Support

You don’t have to do this alone. One of the biggest mistakes moms make is thinking they need to be supermom and handle everything by themselves. The truth is, asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of strength.

Whether it’s a trusted friend, a family member, or a therapist, having a support system can make all the difference. Find people who lift you up, who listen without judgment, and who offer practical help when you need it. You deserve to have a team behind you.

6. Let Go of Perfectionism

Motherhood is messy. Life is messy. It’s easy to get caught up in the pressure to do everything perfectly, but striving for perfection is a surefire way to burn out. Instead, aim for progress, not perfection. Celebrate the small wins, like when you manage to carve out ten minutes for yourself or when you successfully navigate a tough day with patience.

Remember, it's not about being the "perfect" mom—it’s about being present, kind, and authentic. Embrace the imperfections and find joy in the messy, beautiful moments that make up motherhood.

7. Embrace Your Identity Beyond Motherhood

While being a mom is an incredible part of who you are, it’s not the only part. It’s important to nurture other aspects of your identity. Whether it’s your career, your hobbies, or your relationships outside of your children, make sure you’re taking time to engage with those parts of yourself. You’re more than just “mom,” and embracing this can help you feel more fulfilled and balanced.

8. Be Kind to Yourself

Lastly, be kind to yourself. You're doing the best you can with the resources you have, and that's enough. There will be hard days. There will be days when you feel like you’ve failed. But those moments don’t define you. What matters is how you show up every day, even on the tough days.

Motherhood is a journey, not a destination. It’s okay to have ups and downs, but with self-care, support, and the willingness to embrace your needs, you can start to thrive instead of just surviving.

Conclusion

Motherhood doesn’t have to feel like a constant battle to stay afloat. You have the power to thrive, to create a life that works for you, and to embrace the beautiful mess that is motherhood. Start by prioritizing yourself, setting boundaries, and letting go of perfection. You deserve to not just survive, but to live and thrive in this season of your life.

Looking for support? I would love to connect! Schedule a free 15 minute consult call for specialized therapy for pregnant, postpartum moms and moms raising young children. Therapy for Pregnancy, therapy for Postpartum depression, therapy for postpartum anxiety, therapy for perinatal mood disorders. I also use parts work and internal family systems to support moms in therapy. I provide all therapy services virtually throughout California. Perinatal Mental Health Therapy for Moms in California. I look forward to connecting with you!